student workers: trifecta

All of these posts remind me of another blog I once read. It's definitely worth the read, I sat laughing for hours reading it.
(Go read Hammerhead Theater!)

I find myself faced with my own version of Hammerhead Theater over here, and can't help but wish that you could all be here with me, seeing and hearing all of this.
I also really, really want to be able to articulate the sound of someone's voice and laughter via font or description, but I just can't. 

Charles: "[Mumbling]...C, C, C, C...."
Matthew: "Huh?"
Charles: "There's a "C" written over here, so I figured it was for my name."
Matthew: "Is that what you always think when you see the letter C?"
Charles: "Do I sense sarcasm?"
Matthew: "Not at all."


Before long the aspect of being "shallow" came up, the other major topic of yesterday.
(See Student Workers 2).
While not all of this has to do with the all-important "What is Shallow?", it all circled around and came back to land on it over the course of the entire day.

Boppity: "I am pretty shallow sometimes. It's easier."
Charles: "It's easier to be shallow?"
Boppity: "Yes."
Charles: "No it's not."
Boppity: "Yes it is! It's not hard to be shallow, Charles!"

Back and forth, back and forth...

Boppity: "Ok...define what you mean by shallow. I don't think it's the same shallow, we're talking about here."
Charles: "Ok...not real."
Boppity: "Ok, define not real. So shallow is...fake?"
Charles: "Well that's an interesting question."

The subject of dating tries to interject...

Boppity: "The first time you go up to bat is important, because if you go up and strike out, you'll never want to bat again!"
Charles: "Well, there are three outs in an inning, and 7 innings..."
Boppity: "No, Charles, there are 3 strikes. And then you're out."
Charles: "Yes, but it's not like you go up to bat ---"
Boppity: "NOBODY LIKES TO STRIKE OUT, CHARLES."

That came about because Charles had began asking me questions about my life.
About meeting my husband, where I'm from.
Like,

Charles: "Did you meet in Arizona? At college?"
Me: "No, in high school, actually."
Charles: "At the same high school?"
Me: "Um...yes."

Then,
Charles: "Was he your first boyfriend?"
Boppity, startled: "CHARLES! Good Lord, stop it! You hardly know the girl!"


Winding around and eventually landing back on Shallow...

Charles: "If you have to actually think about what your words mean or what's really happening, then it's hard, so it's easier to be fake, in a sense, then to just..."
Boppity: "Uuuoohhh...okay. I mean, kind of, I kind of understand what you're trying to say. This is all crazy, because I just meant sometimes I like to take a brain vacation. Be shallow for a while, which is what is easy, to take a break. "
Charles: "So how do you define shallow?"
Boppity: "No, you never answered it for me!"
Charles: "Ok..."
Boppity: "Shallow just means you never go below...it's like a survey course. You don't go into it too deeply but it's enough to get by."
Charles: "I wouldn't even say that."
Boppity: "About survey courses, or..."
Charles: "No, you're defining shallow by the actual definition of shallow water. That's what you're defining it by."
Boppity: "No, you're going too deep. "
Charles: "No, I'm not even thinking..."
Boppity: "HAHA!"

(This conversation went on for a full 20 minutes. They asked three separate people who came into the office what their definition of shallow is. They still don't know what shallow means to one another.)

Boppity: "But children all the time say but why, but why, but why..."
Charles: "Yes, because they're REAL. They're inquiring minds and they're REAL."

After talking to Matthew and asking him a few questions...

Charles, leaning against Matthew's desk: "I'll bet your wife really likes you. People ask you questions and you just say, "Meh, sure." You just seem really passive. I'll bet she loves it."

Later on, this Shallow idea somehow transitioned into...

Charles: "There is a very deep meaning to french fries."
Boppity, Me, random-student-worker: "[blank stares]"
Charles: "It symbolizes the great symbol of America. It shows us, for one...especially fast food fries. It shows that we don't care what we eat...it's all about instant gratification."
Boppity: "Speaking of fries, I wouldn't mind having some steak fries."
Charles: "But it goes much deeper than that. There is a very deep meaning to this."

I never found out what that deep meaning was. Although I'm really, really fine with that.

Later,

Charles: "I think Caitlin is taking a brain vacation."
Boppity: "HA! She's not listening to us. She tuned us out a long time ago."



Sigh.

student workers: the sequel

Yesterday was a giant pot of weirdness for the student worker antics.
Instead of wacky one-liners or casually short conversations, they ended up talking about "bouldering" and the definition of "shallow" for hours. I tuned in and out (I think I may have even passed out at one point) and so I've had to chisel it all down to my favorite excerpts. There's just no time, no capacity, to record it all.

(If you missed part 1 of "student workers", check it out here).

Before the giant topics of Bouldering and Shallow came up, Charles was on a roll. He talked for most of the morning, and at certain times I feared for the lack of oxygen going to his brain when he wouldn't take any breaks to breathe and/or let us recover.
I'm not sure if Boppity was having a bad day or was just "taking a brain vacation" (to be explained later) but she didn't have as much to say.
She didn't even come in to join the fray until we had had our fill of alone time with Charles.

Matthew: "How's your day?"
Charles: "Pretty good, I took a nap on a bench outside for an hour...well, like 10 minutes."
Matthew: "Oh. Nice."
Charles: "Yeah, I wasn't really planning on it. It was a really hard bench."

I think he felt comfortable with us at this point, because he began to really bond with Matthew and felt totally at home going closer than even I'd go, into his personal working space. Which is a very sacred thing.

Charles [randomly pausing, jumping up, and walking over to Matthew's desk, picking up a stack of paper): "Is this recyc...recycle...recyc...[30 seconds later] can you help me?"
Matthew: "Recyclable?"
Charles: "Recycle...recycable...no, that doesn't sound right. Say it again."
Matthew: "Recyclable."
Charles: "Wow, what a word!"

Around lunchtime, still before Boppity joined us:

Charles: "Did someone eat Chinese food for lunch?"
Matthew & I, exchanging glances (neither of us had eaten Chinese food): "........."
Charles: "I had a waft of some kind of soy sauce. Or it's my imagination."
Matthew: "It's your imagination, although...I have some ground beef and some peppers..."
Charles goes over and sticks his face in the tupperware, taking a giant whiff.
Charles: "Ah, yeah, must be the peppers."

Charles, about 2 hours later, leaning in closely to Boppity: "I smell...Chinese...in this room."


What's funny is that on some days, not a word is spoken. On others, a goldmine of nonsense.

Later on, Charles once again wanders too closely to Matthew's desk:

Charles: "What kind of hot sauce is that?"
Matthew: "Tabasco."
Boppity: "Ah, ah-ha, that's too hot."
Matthew: "No, it's not too bad."
Charles: "I think Tabasco is mild, to be honest."
Matthew: "You should try Melinda's, you'd probably like it."
Charles: "Oh, does that have a--a wooden, a wooden like, top? A wooden top?
Matthew: "No, that's Tapatio."
Charles, nodding, his eyes narrowing, with a strange smirk: "Ah, so you're a hot sauce fan."

A while later, Matthew was over by the packing area (we pack and ship a lot of books) and as he turned to go back to his desk, Charles was standing right behind him.

Charles: "Do you eat a lot of nuts?"
Matthew (pausing, staring, walking around him): "Sure, sometimes. They're good."
Charles: "Me too. I like nuts. I've seen them on your desk."
Matthew: "Oh? Well...yeah, I've had them before."
Charles: "Yeah I've seen at least two jars. You had a trail mix at one point. Planters, maybe? At least one jar of peanuts, probably a week ago."
Matthew, at a loss: "...could be, could be."


These last bits are what I like to call the Bouldering Excerpts.
I'm unsure how and why Charles is so observant of Matthew, but I suppose that will remain to be seen. It all started with...

Charles: "Do you boulder at all?"
Matthew: "Boulder?"
Charles, walking over to him: "Boulder, like climb, a lil' bit?"
Matthew, somehow understanding, and looking back at a pair of climbing shoes behind his desk: "...no. They're my wife's ...I've been trying to sell them for a while, I kind of forgot they were there."
Charles: "What size are they?"
Matthew: "Well they're women's..."
Charles: "Yes, but what size? I've been meaning to perhaps purchase a pair...can I just see them? [he grabs them and puts them against the soles of his feet for comparison] Oohh, yeah right. My friends, I've tried some shoes from them that I could sort of walk in, they're like two sizes smaller."
Me: "You've tried on your friend's women's shoes?"
Charles: "Heh, heh, heh, no, they were climbing shoes. So, can I possibly just try and stick my foot in here?"
Matthew: "[raised eyebrow]"
Charles: "Because...if I can walk in them, then I might possibly get them off of you, if I...well...let me try them on first...
"Well this feels fairly normal, actually...although I don't know how much I could take of this. Ouch. I think my right foot may be larger than my left foot. I think the left one could maybe stand this in about 3 minute increments...
"[three minutes later, triumphantly] Well they definitely would work in a pinch!"


Matthew: "So when would be the next time you have the opportunity to climb?"
Charles: "Well, I would basically just use it for the climbing wall...I think it's closed during the summer but I think I'd just keep doing it and getting kicked out throughout the summer. Heh, heh, heh."
Matthew: "Thats...a good strategy..."
Charles: "I've never been that into it but my friends are definitely great boulderers."
Boppity: "You know, climbing can be really hard, it's a good workout."
Charles: "Well, I'm actually in good shape. I would say very, very good shape."

One rabbit hole later...

Charles: "I actually got into Chess for a while."
Matthew: "Chess?"
Charles: "Yeah, but...I actually felt like I was getting into a Chess cult. So I just ripped up all my books on Chess and didn't ever let myself get seriously into it."

Matthew, trying to participate in the bouldering conversation (which if I was a mind-reader, I would have told him that was a really bad idea)...

Matthew: "Did you ever hear about that one free climber--"
Charles, perking up: "The Indian?"
Matthew, startled: "Uh...no, I don't think so."
Charles: "Yes, it is. He's native american. He died."
Matthew: "Um...no."
Charles: "Different guy?"
Matthew: "Yes."
Charles: "Hm. Don't know him."


Stay tuned for more Student Worker excerpts, coming to a blog near you.
I think I'll go take a nap on a really hard bench. 

student workers

I'm not saying that working in a window-less, closet-like office space in the corner of a library makes you a cranky person, but I will say that I'm about to smack some people over the head with my book pile.

Chris is an amazing student worker. He's been here the entire time I have, and he's honestly above and beyond, most the time. Kind of like I used to be.
He's gone for the summer, and one of my two coworkers quit a month ago, so there's a very tangible emptiness in the office. It's just Matthew and I, which is fine with us. We like the quiet, we like the occasional conversation or huff of annoyance that we can both appreciate after a particularly difficult phone call.
Our mail guy is also named Chris, and is fun and talkative and usually his visits are the peak of conversation for the entire day. Around here, the Chris's have it together.

Then there's now, when it's summer and student Chris is gone and the library is swarmed with summer student workers that just so happen to be assigned to our office for various tasks.
Hey, it may be a closet, but it's my closet and I feel rather protective of it. And by "it" I mean the silence. 

What is it about kids these days?
I can really clearly imagine myself saying this as a 70-year-old now, because I just said it this morning.

There are two particular students that are working on reorganizing the microfiche and microfilm cabinets that were shoved into our office many months ago (because we're a closet), and I'll just call them kids because through this experience I've aged 10 years.

Girl: "Wait a minute...[watching me pull a microfiche article from a drawer] are you telling me someone actually wants one of those!?"
Me: "Yeah, it...actually happens every once in a while."
Girl: "Can you believe I met someone that didn't even know what these were? I was like you're trolling me. You're trolling me! Have you never seen a microdot? I've seen a microdot and I hate James Bond!"

Later on.

Girl: "I don't know why we even have to keep these around [the microfiche/film]."
Matthew: "We should just throw them all out. We should throw all the books out, too [dripping sarcasm]."
Girl: "Hey, I don't disagree with that. I mean, some books are just downright useless. I say we throw out all the useless books."
Matthew: "...like what?"
Girl: "Like really old books, stupid books. Some books are just boring, and don't even make any sense. What is the point?"
Matthew: "Um...to document the human race? I think some anthropologists would have some trouble with your standpoint."
Girl: "HA! GOOD THING I DON'T KNOW ANY!"

......


Matthew, to me: "Do you know that quote?"
Me: "No, I don't, what's it from?"
Matthew: "Jurassic Park, it's Dr. Malcolm."
Girl, loudly: "Mmm, mmm. NOT a fan of that."

At one point, the conversation switched to aliens (I think it somehow entangled with the idea that if aliens invaded they could access the books/records of the human race) and zombies. So, there was that.
Then,

Matthew: "I don't really have much confidence in a zombie apocalypse ever happening."
Girl: "What, but...you believe in aliens?"
Matthew: "Maybe."
Girl: "Wait...you're kidding me. Are you trolling me? I can't tell. Are you seriously trolling me? 
Matthew: "...trolling?"
Girl: "WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!"

Despite the appearance of only one student worker, there are actually two. But "girl" is the talkative one usually, although sometimes the boy gets really philosophical and they end up bantering about some mathematical equation or something of the like. I'm going to call the girl Boppity.


Boppity: "I want to see the trinity library so bad."
Boy: "Why? Then you'd go and see it and then what? It'd be over. Any time you seek out and wait for an experience, it just leads us to wanting more experiences. On and on, never ending. It's pointless."
Boppity: "Um...isn't that life? Life is just a big line of experiences."
Boy: "Not if you're dead."
Boppity: "......are you talking about non-Christians?"

Then,


Boppity: "I really want to see Now You See Me."
Boy: "Why, what's it about?"
Boppity: "It's about..."
Boy: "Nevermind. I don't want to know. It doesn't matter."
Boppity "...okay."

Apparently this guy, I'll call him Charles for the sake of this. Because that's his name. But Charles doesn't ever watch movies, I think because he's morally opposed although I've only assumed this information via snippets of conversation.
While Boppity is great enough on her own, their interactions are always the strangest. I don't know how their line of conversation ever proceeds the way that it does. It is very perplexing.

Boppity, coming back from next door: "Ah, the smell of boxes. A cockroaches best friend."
Charles: "What?"
Boppity: "You know! They like the glue on boxes."
Charles: "I like getting high off glue."
Boppity: "WHAT!?
Charles: "..."
Boppity: "No...they [cockroaches] eat it. They don't sniff it."
Charles: "Well, maybe if I ate it..."
Boppity: "You'd be as trippy as a roach!!!!"

Boppity: "Have you ever played that, Charles? Trying to flip cards into a hat?"
Charles, speaking slowly: "Not a hat necessarily, but...something."
Boppity: "What, you don't remember?"
Charles: "I remember. I remember that it wasn't a hat."

I missed the first part of this last conversation, but it was between another student worker who came in for a little while, and it was something along the lines of inquiring about Boppity's "jarring", perhaps a hobby or some sort of side business which I find incredibly entertaining.

Mystery girl: "[something about]...jarring?
Boppity, alarmed: "We call it canning. We don't call it jarring. We call it CANNING. We use metal lids. And oh, my, goodness. Canned deer meat is so very good."
Mystery girl: "I've never shot a deer. I did shoot a big jug of water once, though."


Oh, good. It's almost time to go home.