the cold summer

I've been a little bit of a bloggy failure as of late.
I've had all sorts of fun mini adventures and have tons of pictures as proof of my activity, and somewhere along the line I got overwhelmed and every day I think I might blog, I end up not blogging, and letting more and more adventures pile up without sharing them.
Sometimes I think it's nice to just let adventures be a secret.
That being said, I still haven't even blogged about our last day in Paris! Like. 4 months ago. Yikes.

Besides that, I need to tell you about Cleveland, about saying bye to my brother, about the drive back and getting back to life in an empty apartment. Funny how two adults and two cats in a teensy apartment can feel "empty" after having the warmth of family there.
I need to tell you about being homesick and going out on date nights to reconnect, about starting the new season of The Bachelorette because we're just those kinds of people.
About starting the fabulous summer tradition of playing beach volleyball with our friends, about Lynchburg Restaurant Week and beer cheese soup and how our life group at church is doing, and about having one of my lifelong friends come and visit for a week.
I certainly need to tell you that my lavender latte is alive and well and that I made a bacon-wrapped, blue-cheese topped grilled peach that changed my life.
I need to tell you about the fourth of july and about the amazing weather and about listening to a book on tape with the windows down, and about our amazing trip this weekend to Richmond that was full of childish glee on roller coasters and dancing to music and eating ice cream and eating a fancy dinner in a movie theater. About how Bread & Wine by Shauna Niequist is lovely and all of you lady loves of my heart need to read it.
I feel far away from you all because you don't know any of this very vital information.

For now all I'll really say is that this summer couldn't be more different than last summer.
Last summer we went home in late June, came back to Virginia and it was stifling hot, we almost died in Washington D.C., we had an endless string of family visitors, we went on an amazing cruise, to Jamaica and the Cayman Islands, and ended with Disney World and Harry Potter world...

This summer, we went home in May, had all of our visitors come and go before July, and it has been steadily rainy/stormy/in the 80's all summer long.
Yesterday it was 84 degrees and I wore a sweater. Today is overcast and 70 degrees and I'm wearing long sleeves and wishing I had worn socks because my office is even chillier.
The weather forecast is cloudy and thunderstormy until further notice.

Dusty and I often refer to last summer as the best summer of our lives. He even had t-shirts made for us at the end of it, because it was one of those rare moments when we actually knew we were living the golden days and cherished it appropriately.

This summer is so different that it's hard not to compare and say, "What the heck are we doing in this cold summer? Get us back to Summer Tweeeeelve!"
It's an oxymoron, really. Cold summer. Psh.
But the grass is always greener, and blah blah cliches, and we've chosen to absolutely enjoy the beautiful weather. Because how can anyone be upset about 70 degrees in July?
We play volleyball with our friends, the gorgeous breezes and sunsets as our natural accessories, and find other ways to cook dinner besides our go-to summer grilling when the week is full of rain.
Summer Treize (every summer has to have a nickname, amiright?) is turning out to be mighty fine.
Now we'll just pray that August doesn't sneak up on us, roasting and killing us with belated heat.

The bottom line is, to bequote my new BFF Bread & Wine, 

It seems like most of the things we try to make profound never are, 

lost in our insistence and fretting and posing. When we want something to be momentous, it rarely is.

Life is disobedient in that way, insisting on surprising us with its magic, 

stubbornly unwilling to be glittery on command. 

I have a love/hate relationship with that quote. It boths speaks to me and slaps me in the face, because I do that all the time. Oh, everybody pose! Everybody look happy! This party has to be the best ever...this summer has to be like Summer Tweeeeelve. Pout, stomp, fist-shake: why isn't this perfectly the way I envisioned?

I'm sure I'm not the only one with control issues. I didn't think I had control issues until recently, so coming to the realization that I have a whole new giant flaw is upsetting in and of itself. 

Let's make a toast to summer, and not just this summer, but every summer, every season. 

Cheers to letting go and enjoying the ruined plans, the bits and pieces, the chaos that makes life all the merrier. 

Life is just better with toasts and cheers. 

the everlasting winter

I am so, so tired of being cold.
We were cold before our trip, freezing during our trip, and still frozen upon our return.
I can't quite explain to you the gnawing numbness that builds up in one's soul when exposed to long-term chills.
Remember that whole Tale of the Sun People episode from last summer?
Well, I'm almost at the point where I'd rather be there, than here. And that's saying a lot.

The truth is, we got really lucky last year. We had a mild winter (and really, in comparison to some places in the U.S., this is still a mild winter), with only one real day of snow.
We had an amazing snow day.

AN amazing snow DAY. Only one.
This year, we've had way too many.
It was snowing when I left work last night! On April 4th! I wanted to punch the weather man, even though it's not his fault. Sometimes cold makes me angry like that.
Screw that whole Game of Thrones Winter is Coming nonsense: it's here, and it WON'T GO AWAY.

I'm ready for sandals. And shorts. And hats. And grilling on the back porch, stopping for snow cones, taking trips, eating outside at restaurants, smelling flowers, walking downtown, watching fireworks, getting tan, and being warm, even hot.

But, here we are.

This was about ten days ago...
And while I'm on an anti-cold rant, I'll admit that this was the prettiest day of snow we had.

Everything was so quiet and so frosty and still. It was unreal.
We took our time driving away, mostly because the ice under our tires was slipping and sliding, but also because we had the strange feeling that time had stopped for a minute and we should take advantage of those extra moments of life.

I'm still angry about the cold, but I thought it'd be therapeutic to share one of my favorite snow mornings.
It kinda worked.
I really do love the snow...it's always exciting and beautiful, or at least that's how I felt until last night.
The snowfall when I left work was not happy snow. It was angry snow.
It was as if the snow in the sky got mad and starting throwing unmentionables at us, instead of falling gracefully themselves. It was thick and wet and grey and slushy, lining the ground in greyish white but then immediately freezing in dirty, icy slush. It was sleesnowice. And it was awful.

So for now, I'll just remember all the reasons I love snow, and try to make amends.

In love,
Cait

it's raining

I know many of you west-coasters have been suffering from heat and exhaustion and full-out Fall envy.
Well, I don't mean to rub it in your face.

But I'm going to rub it in your face.

It's 70 degrees today, and very rainy. There's a light breeze and everyone is singing, skipping and splashing one another in a friendly fashion. Leaves are beginning to turn and everyone has a latte in their hand.
Bath and Body Works is sold out of all their Fall scented candles because everyone here is that festive.
Tonight, everyone will be cuddled up, watching their favorite movies and baking pies.

I may be exaggerating a little bit, but truly, it's a wonderful time.

But, so you won't hate me too much, things aren't perfect here.
For one, I realized everyone can see my underwear through my dress today. And even worse than that, I don't think this is the first time this has happened to me this year.
Secondly, Lynchburg drivers are awful in the rain. So there's that.

Going back to the subject of favorite movies, though...
Everyone has a favorite movie. Even if you're one of those, a person who never watches a movie twice, there has to be one movie that sticks out in your mind as having truly impacted you.
For a long time, I couldn't choose my favorite movie. I wasn't sure what qualified as a favorite film, and how I could possibly narrow it down.
But then I realized...my favorite movies aren't the most accomplished, or most witty, or most expensively-made ones.
For me, my favorite movies are the ones that I can wear out. The ones I can watch 57 times in a row in one week, and still crave it the next day.

The first movies I remember being like this with are Jurassic Park and The Matrix.
(I was a tom boy, I had three brothers...don't be too weirded out.)
Truthfully, I had every single scene memorized in The Matrix. I would mouth the words along with the characters, it was a problem.

I would get super intense at the end, whispering along with Trinity.
It's really a miracle I ever found someone to marry me.

[SPOILER ALERT]: Don't watch this if you've never seen the movie, dude.

Nowadays, my go-to movies are a little more acceptable for a sappy woman.
My top 5 are as follows...

1. Ever After
2. Mona Lisa Smile
3. Pride and Prejudice
4. The Holiday
5. Something Borrowed (just added this one this year)

This list occasionally shifts around, and Something Borrowed is a very new addition. I think I like it because I'm so far removed from the subject content, and it's both shocking and sad and totally wrong all at the same time. But there's true friendship somewhere in there, as well as love and confusion and totally misconstrued notions of happiness. I always get choked up at the end, Kate Hudson, darling, well done.

Soundtracks have about 76% to do with these choices. I crave the chills that all of these movie soundtracks produce. They're all brilliantly scored.

I really can't quite explain my bond with Ever After, though. My numero uno.
I tear up every single time the main title begins. It's one of the most powerful moments.

I remember seeing this movie in theaters in the 90's, absolutely loving it. I was ten years old. For some reason, it has become the perfect movie to me. I've lost count of how many times I've watched it. I remember swearing that I'd only marry a man who could kiss me like Dougray Scott kisses Drew Barrymore.
One time, I watched it, the credits began to roll, and I just said, "Again!"
And watched it 3 times in a row.
Most people that know me well know that this is my absolute favorite movie of all time.

I took a Facebook poll to see if anyone else was like me.
It seems like the theme of movie choices stayed about the same as mine :)
These were the most popular movie choices:

1. Tami, Heidi, Charissa: Pride and Prejudice (new, or the old BBC version)
2. Charissa, Philip, Amber: The Princess Bride
3. Miriam, Charissa, Me: Ever After
4. Melodee, Ashley: Penelope (which I've never seen!)
5. Sarah: Anne of Green Gables (which had the most likes)

I really, really loved hearing everyone's favorite movies. It's such a personal fact to know about someone. I immediately picture them totally vegged out on the couch, enjoying every second of the best movie in their own little world.
Usually, when I'm having an Ever After marathon, I'm not looking my best. It's usually when I'm lonely, sad, sick, or just feeling really sappy. Which means I'm shame-eating bad-for-me foods and wearing the same clothes from yesterday.
And I always watch it alone, because no one loves it like I do. Plus I look disgusting.
It's a very intimate, personal experience.

I'm looking forward to going home tonight and indulging in my comfiest pajamas.
I think we'll raise the blinds a little, so we can see and hear the rain outside.
Although it's not an Ever After night, since the SYTYCD finale is on tonight....(WOOT!)

Man, I wish work didn't have to get in the way of my plans. I'd be home right now if not for the whole money-making need.

Oh well.

In love,
Cait