Wednesday, June 27, 2012

pet peeves

I love pet peeves.

I realize that pet peeves by their very definition are things that you hate, but I really love them.
I even like the cringing alliteration of the name: "pet peeves".

Everyone has their own.
It's our own way to individualize ourselves by saying, "You hate people too? Well, THIS is why I hate people."

I've heard all kinds of pet peeve sob stories.

"I vomit at the sound of chewing."
"I despise hot cashew breath."
"I hate when people smack their gum."
"I can't stand it when people interrupt me."
"It upsets me when people talk on the phone in public restrooms."

I feel really left out, because I've never really been able to think of any pet peeves for myself.
Sure, I don't like stupid people. And sure, I get annoyed with them quite often.
But whenever that classic party-game of "who has the best pet peeve" comes around, I come up empty.

It's like when people ask, "What's your most embarrassing moment?"
And I simply can't think of one.
Because I'm perfect.

So I'm going to hereby start a mini-journal to keep in my wallet for those emergent occasions when someone does something so cringe-worthy that I will be able to permanently mark it in my "pet peeve pages".

This is really just a diary of the human condition.

I just thought of one.

I'm going to start every entry with a cursive "please" because "please" can actually be one of the rudest words in the English dictionary.
Even worse is "thank you". Did you know?

(Side bar: Dusty and I's biggest fights often come from me exploding when he condescendingly says "thank you" immediately following a statement, giving me no time to respond. WHOA. Just thought of number 2.)

These Pet Peeve Pages are solid gold.

I'm just going to let my interactions with humankind dictate the rest of these pages.

Happy Wednesday, all.

What are your pet peeves?
(And more importantly, what are some more of mine?)

In love,

CAUTION: I am very sarcastic and silly, and really aim to love people, not hate people.
Even the stupid ones.

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